"Draft questions for an Asian school textbook" by Nury Vitachi

     My neighbour’s child brought home a school work-sheet. It said: “If Alfie hits a baseball at 10 miles an hour, how long will it take to cross a 176-yard diamond?”     The homework raised all sorts of questions for a child raised in Asia.What kind of name is Al-Fie? What’s a mile? What’s a yard? Even his mother had a question. "Where can you buy a 176-yard diamond?". I explained that baseball was a game played on a “diamond”, but that just got her more excited. “Wah! Everything so big in USA,” she said.

     

     The problem was, of course, that the homework sheet had been photocopied from an ancient textbook designed for kids in the west. Asia needs Asian textbooks. We need local homework projects. C’mon, teachers. They’re not that hard to dream up. Here are some to get you started:

            1. If Lee copies 1,000 CDs a day and sells them for one US dollar each, how long before he can get into Harvard?

2. If an Asian city’s public transport city is built to move a million people in one day, how many people does it move in one day? (a) Three million, (b) four million, or (c) five million?

3. The dean of a high class technical college wants a new US$100,000 swimming pool for his home, and the Daswanis want their son Ravindra to get into computer engineering. Should the dean get a Grecian infinity pool or a resort-style lagoon?

             4. Ah-Li is Prime Minister of a small country in Asia. The constitution says that he cannot serve more than four years. How long does Ah-Li remain in power? (a) 20 years (b) 30 years (c) he’s still there, despite having resigned, retired and lost his mind.

            5. If Xiao Wang wants an 800 yuan overseas travel permit, and each of the six officials who need to be bribed wants 100 yuan, how reliable are the country’s GDP figures?

            6. In Western-style monarchies, the leader of a country retires by handing power to a member of his family.  Asian republics are (a) pretty much the same, (b) pretty much the same, or (c) identical.

 

Now, will someone please tell the school textbook writers?

 Value :)

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.  

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special - Don't ever forget it!

 keyna :)

Heaven Can Wait

A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.

Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..."

"Fred," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over."

"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.

"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana.

Cause Of Death

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhea.

Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."

Replied the widow, "Yes, I know that he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit that he really was.

sshhh

huh!!!walking to taman maju...it is very tired! but it all will be gone because i had bought new bicycle.hoorey!!!

ssshhhh

huh!!!walking to taman maju...it is very tired! but it all will be gone because i had bought new bicycle.hoorey!!!

In Searching of Meanings ^_^v

Afiq Hussaini Sometimes I wish I had never met you because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

Encik Jimmy Always believe in God. Because there are some questions that even Google can't answer.

Amalina Ariffin u’ll never find the rite person if u don’t let go of d wrong one..

Nik Saufi ‎"You won't regret the men you never killed, but you will regret the women you passed up. "

Fatin Sara Zulkifli just because you were born male, it doesn't automatically make u a man.

I can see how quotes and sayings can change a person,

I can see how quotes and sayings can really comfort them,

I can see how quotes and sayings can twist someone's view towards life.

It is somehow a tool - to survive when you find that nothing can make you feels better but words.

****************************

"I am torn between a world of hate and a world of dreams.

So much to lose, so much to gain,

so much to fight for, so much to change."

by,, Nurfarahin ^_^v